Reflections on Marriage.

Look at that, two very single ladies coming to speak to you about marriage (hilarious, right?) Ok,Ok but stay with us.

“God, when? ”. No doubt a lot of us reading this have stumbled on pictures of couples together on social media and have responded with that question. That question that asks God when is it my turn? I don’t know about you but both of us have individually been there. In fact, a few weeks ago (maybe a few days ago, who knows?) We were still saying “God, when?”. But what is God’s purpose in marriage? – This is the question we hope to have answered by the end of this post.

 Do we say “God, when?” because we just like others long for a cuddle or a kiss or some affection? We are seeking to feel good ourselves? And honestly there’s nothing wrong with these feelings; they are also part of the marriage package that God has for us, what is wrong is thinking that marriage was designed for us to solely gratify ourselves and ‘feel good’. As Christians, we should know by now the reality that nothing we do is about us and that also includes marriage. If we are content with everything being about the glorification of Christ then why not marriage too? Why do we decide to look at marriage with our human wisdom?

 Ok, we hope you’re already having some thoughts by now but let’s see what scripture says about marriage.

During our bible study together, we started on 1 Corinthians (side note: can we all admit that Corinthians are such good books? Anyway, we digress) and we came across verse 9 which says:

 'God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.' 1 Corinthians 1:9 NLT

 We’ve highlighted the word partnership because that is what begun the revelation that we are about to share with you guys. Gosh, we are so excited! Ok, ok, so that word partnership what does it mean? In this context where the bible says we have been invited into partnership with Christ Jesus, what can it possibly mean? Now, the word partnership is synonymous with the words relationship, fellowship, union, alliance and etc. So, in this context that would mean …

You guessed it! Marriage.

 'Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house]. For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ' Ephesians 5:23-29 AMP

'Let every wife be supportive and tenderly devoted to her husband, for this is a beautiful illustration of our devotion to Christ. 'Colossians 3:18 TPT

Now in the scriptures above, Paul has just explained our marriage to our earthly spouses as similar to the marriage between Christ and the church. Time again, in scripture we see our relationship with Christ as a marriage where he is the bridegroom and we [the church] are his bride. So now the question we would like for you to ponder on before you read ahead is this – if our marriage to Christ isn’t ultimately for self-glorification but for the glory of God to be evident in our lives, why should marriage to our earthly spouses not also reflect this?

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:31:

 'So then, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of [our great] God. ' 1 Corinthians 10:31 AMP

 Do ALL to the glory of God. This includes marriage too. Marriage is to be an example of our relationship with Christ.

 'Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery— meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church. ' Ephesians 5:32 TPT

 I hope this is all making sense as we go along. Ok now, what do we mean by a vivid example of the church? Again, the answer is in scripture and although scripture gives us so many examples, we’re going to explore a few:

 'Now the company of believers was of one heart and soul, and not one [of them] claimed that anything belonging to him was [exclusively] his own, but everything was common property and for the use of all. There was not a needy person among them, because those who were owners of land or houses were selling them, and bringing the proceeds of the sales 'Acts 4:32,34 AMP

 'So Peter was kept in prison, but fervent and persistent prayer for him was being made to God by the church. ' Acts 12:5 AMP

 'Then Paul left Athens and went to Corinth. There he became acquainted with a Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, who had recently arrived from Italy with his wife, Priscilla. They had left Italy when Claudius Caesar deported all Jews from Rome. Paul lived and worked with them, for they were tentmakers just as he was.' Acts of the Apostles 18:1-3 NLT

 'Paul, a prisoner [for the sake] of Christ Jesus (the Messiah, the Anointed), and our brother Timothy,  To Philemon our dearly beloved friend and fellow worker, and to [your wife] Apphia our sister, and to Archippus our fellow soldier [in ministry], and to the church that meets in your house: because I hear of your love and of your faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints (God’s people). Philemon 1:1-2,5 AMP

 Now, from these scriptures we see the church doing the work of generous giving, intercession, accommodating and hospitality. Like we said, these are just a few examples that highlight what we as the church are to be doing. In the case of Aquila and Priscilla and Philemon and Apphia, these are couples who opened up their homes so the work of Christ could be accomplished. Like these couples, are we praying for our homes to be safe havens? To be a place of worship? To be a place that shines the glory of God so brightly? To be homes that believers and unbelievers are drawn to because the love of God is so evident? Or are we thinking its only about butterflies in our tummy 24/7, breakfast in bed before work, non-stop sex without guilt, holding hands while taking walks and long car rides? Well, hate it to break it to you but that’s a movie. A Walt Disney production to be exact.

 'and ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and live with his wife. And the two will become one flesh.’ From then on, they are no longer two, but united as one. So what God unites let no one divide!” 'Matthew 19:5-6

 And so, because when we marry our earthly spouse, we become one with them, we must work together to achieve God’s purpose on earth. It is no longer a thing about what you do individually in Christ (although that is important) but because you have been joined in Christ, you are now one. Which means, just like we’ve discussed above your marriage must seek to glorify Christ the same way [and in many ways greater] as you as an individual sought to glorify Christ with your life prior to marriage. Tu Comprends? Good!

 'So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. 'Ephesians 4:1-2 AMP

 We say this because, unless you have a marriage to Christ, who will you report your spouse to when they upset you and you’re finding it hard to let go of the hurt they might have caused you? In essence, our marriage to Christ should form the basis of our desire for marriage. The bible describes marriage as a mystery and it can be very difficult to unpack. Contrary to our sentiments regarding marriage being like a fairy tale, it is difficult. A lot of times as Christians we think that everything would be smooth sailing because we have Christ but we live in a fallen world and even Christ himself did not experience smooth sailing (Matthew 20:22-23) so why do we have that expectation of marriage? Well, marriage involves a lot of dying to self just like we do in our relationship with Christ. If we are not able to fully submit ourselves to Christ then we are not ready to submit to our spouse in marriage. How will Christ lead your marriage if we as individuals are not married to Christ first?

 So, what are we saying, in conclusion; we have been called to live a life that glorifies God in everything that we do. This very very much (cannot emphasise enough) includes marriage. Let us get rid of the ideas that marriage is solely about us and God is only involved in the matchmaking process to make us happy. It is so much more than that and it highlights the importance of why the choice of our partners are so important. Let our marriage with God be the one we look at so intently. If we put so much effort into the thoughts that go into planning and daydreaming about our married lives how much more the marriage with Jesus Christ?

 We hope you guys have enjoyed this read, we would love to hear your thoughts on this so please feel free to leave a comment below.

 With so much love,